Showing posts from July, 2016

Opened Eyes

My eyes have been opened.
And there's no going back.
There's no more 'fitting in' to the world as I knew it...
my world as I knew it.
And it's scary and terrifying
and liberating.

There's no unseeing the poverty of the world
and moving back to the states doesn't make the suffering in the world disappear.

It's often too much to bear
good thing it's not my job to carry it

But I'm thrilled and priviledged to be part of the solution
to be doing something
to be contributing
to be leading and loving
to be... just be
to be doing the most purposeful work of my life
to be learning (oh so much learning)
to be living out the calling I've felt since childhood

The experiences in our life shape us
We have the opportunity to learn in any situation
and boy is this shaping me
and man am I soaking in all I can
growth can be hard and painful
but oh so beautiful

My eyes have been opened
God give me the strength to keep them open
give me the compassion to face e…

What are You Carrying?

I expect myself to learn a lesson once and move on.

...unfortunately this is rarely the way life works. It seems we continue coming back to our hurts, habits, and hang ups and learn and fail and make mistakes, and learn again.. the continual squiggly, circling, looping line that we would like to be a perfectly straight upward angle to "arrival."

This is what 'carrying a load' looks like for me:

I get grumpy. My language gets a bit foul. I get cynical. I have less patience than usual. I'm more irritable and a little emotional. I get frustrated when people 'need' me for things. I don't want to be asked for something. I shut down when a friend expresses her problem or concern to me because I just can't face one more problem/need/situation.

When I'm able to step back and take a look at how I got to this point, I realize I'm trying to do God's job. I'm carrying a load I was never asked to carry. I am carrying PAIN I was never asked to c…